He Speaks
Last week began with a very small, simple statement I made to my husband as we were just beginning to wake up. I told him that I felt as though I was losing hope of ever having another child.
Little did I know that the rest of the week would be filled with nudging after nudging. Gentle reminders of our Lord’s faithfulness. Really, it was astounding. Each day was something different, a message about my desire to have more children, both through birth and through adoption, and now I’m regretting not writing it down each day. Let’s see if I can remember all of them.
- 10/12: Sunday’s sermon at church was about God’s peace and protection and my Bible study for the week was about the same thing.
- 10/13: I subscribe to Today’s Word with Joel Osteen, which lately I usually delete. I happened to open it Monday and it was about Peace That Passes Understanding.
- 10/14: The one time I turned on the TV during the week, I tuned into DayStar and a man was instantly in my face saying “someone here has given up on a dream and God is telling you to hold on!”
- 10/15: I met a lady that mentioned knowing someone for whom Vitex helped them get pregnant right away
- 10/17: I saw a friend at MOPS who is now pregnant. She and I both struggled around the same time with trying to conceive.
- 10/18: By chance, I read one post from one Yahoo group, and there was a link to another group just for African American parents adopting Asian children.
- 10/18: a few weeks ago, a woman in my Bible study told me my name meant “bird” in Japanese. I just realized that the Vietnamese name I chose last summer for my future daughter from Vietnam means “bird” also
- 10/19: My husband was watching TV last night and passed by Joel Osteen’s service and Cindy Cruse-Ratcliff was talking about her recent adoption of twin infants.
What I’m learning is that God has placed certain desires within me, but that does not necessarily mean they will come to pass in the time I wish them to. I have to work at remaining patient, and use this waiting period to continue to prepare my body, mind, and heart for what is to come. Walking my faith…
I’m so excited to see what God will do to fulfill your dream! I know well how it feels to have a dream that goes unfulfilled, but I trust that God’s plan is perfect. Watching it unfold is amazing!
Thanks so much Heather! Waiting is so hard for me. I’m surrounded by families with children Zoe’s age and younger and really have to fight off the envy… Everytime I see one I can’t help thinking, “that’s what I’m supposed to have.” Now, Zoe is 5 months away from turning 4 and it’s hard to accept the age gap. My sister is 9 years older than me, and my step-kids are so much older than Zoe too. It hasn’t turned out anything like I wanted it to.